By Gem (mum to Elliot aged 7 and Eliza aged 4)
When we first stepped into the garden, I thought I was leading the way. I had the seed packets, the plan, the list of things to teach them – how to plant, when to water, why we are growing our own food. But it didn’t take long for the roles to quietly shift.
Because while I was busy showing them how to dig a hole, they were showing me how to live in the moment.
Gardening with my children has become one of the most unexpected teachers of motherhood and of life. The lessons haven’t come in neat little rows or tidy harvests, but in muddy hands, curious questions, and the quiet magic of watching things grow.
My drive for getting out into the garden started with finding something that helped my mental health. But it’s become more than a weekend activity or just mum’s hobby – It’s our common purpose, our way to thank create a pocket of garden for us and for nature!
So what have I learned from our growing together.
They’ve taught me to slow down
Children don’t rush in the garden. They pause to poke at a worm, to talk to the flowers as they water them and in our case dance with their harvests no matter how big or small. They don’t garden for the end result, they garden for the now. My children couldn’t care less if the lettuce bolts or if the radishes come out looking like tiny trolls, they’re gardening for the magic of the moment and I’m here for it. Watching them has reminded me to put down my to-do list and just be there. In the sunshine. In the soil. In the moment.
Curiosity is contagious
“Do plants sleep?” “How are seeds made?” ”Can we grow the rainbow?”
Their questions are relentless, and brilliant. I started by feeling flustered, I didn’t know all the answers, I am learning myself but I’ve rediscovered my own curiosity through theirs, and learned to say, “Let’s find out together,” more often. Their questions have taught me to rekindle my own sense of curiosity. To look closer. To ask more. To wonder aloud. We’ve discovered where seeds come from, we now believe plants take a nap – ever noticed how daisies close as the sunsets? And our mission this year is to indeed grow the rainbow! Purple peas anyone?
Mess is part of the magic
As a parent, it’s easy to flinch at the mess, muddy boots traipsing through the kitchen, leaves in their hair, compost and snails in pockets (yes, that happened). But I’ve learned that the mess often means something magic and special just happened in the garden. Treasure was buried, a bug exploration was a success or our kitchen garden had tasty treats on the menu – peas make the BEST garden snacks. Letting go of the need for “clean and controlled” has been freeing, for all of us.
Mistakes are just part of growing
We’ve planted things too early, forgotten to water, mixed up labels (always!) and accidentally pulled out “weeds” that were actually carrots or lettuce seedlings. But instead of getting discouraged, my children just laugh, learn, and try again. Watching them bounce back from every gardening mishap with joy and curiosity has been so refreshing and taught me a whole handful of things about not dwelling in the past or fixating over a mistake but focusing on what’s next. Let’s sow more seeds or try again next year. So what, the football has bent the flower – in the process it scattered hundreds of seeds ready to grow again next year and that sure is ok with me!
Kids flourish when they feel trusted
When I hand them the watering can, the trowel, or the seed packet, I’m not just letting them help, I’m saying “ I trust you”. And that matters. They take their roles seriously. They remember to check on the plants. They take pride in their efforts.
Gardening has shown me that children thrive when they feel ownership and responsibility , they grew that wonky carrot, they watered the peas they’re now munching on. My best was growing garlic with my son. He planted the cloves (yes some went in upside down but nature sorted it out), he nurtured them, harvest and prepared them and the look of absolute pride when his dad used them to cook a curry for us was another level.
Time in nature strengthens our bond
We can go through our weeks having highs and lows and not just us as adults but our little ones to. A mean comment at school, a bad spelling test score and their caterpillar being the last to turn into a butterfly (yup! Ruined her life!) Some of our best chats happen while we’re pottering in the garden, no pressure, just hands in the soil and hearts open. It’s become a shared space where we connect, laugh, and sometimes sit quietly together, watching bees. It’s in those small, quiet moments that I often feel most connected to them and to myself.
I feel the need to say here as well that it isn’t always calm and wonder, I’ve broken up fights over watering cans. I’ve undergone strong negotiations between who sows what. We can get competitive and sometimes trowels are chucked down and small feet stomp away – but the takeaway is that’s life and they feel safe in the space to feel all the emotions.
I thought I was creating a garden to grow plants. But what we’ve grown most is connection, confidence and curiosity, in them and in me.
Gardening with my children isn’t always neat or productive. Sometimes it’s chaotic, sometimes it’s slow. But always, it’s real. And that’s what makes it so special.
Gardening started as a simple weekend activity, something to help me and to get the kids off their screens and out into the fresh air. I didn’t expect it to become such a central part of our family life, or to teach me so much about motherhood, patience, and even myself. What began with muddy boots and gloves 10 sizes too big has become a journey of connection, growth, and unexpected wisdom.
